EPISODE NUMBER: 8101 (May 10, 2012)
GUESTS: Dr. Francis Collins
SEGMENTS: Mother’s Day Shout Out | Barack Obama’s Gay Blasphemy | ThreatDown – Interdimensional Black People, Gay Strokes & Manipulative Sicko Monkeys | Wisconsin’s Fake Democrats | Sign Off – Two Weeks Off & Dry Roasted Peanuts
SUIT REPORT: Grey suit | White shirt | Blue spotted tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tonight, new innovations in crime fighting. Is it time to give our tazers their own guns? Then, political chaos in Wisconsin: Its time to rage against the milking machine! And my guest, Dr. Francis Collins, is in a new, four part, HBO documentary on obesity. It was supposed to be one part but they super sized it.
Nearly 40% of New York’s 911 calls are butt dials. Which begs the question: Who is attacking New York’s butts?
Mother’s Day Shout Out
Barack Obama’s Gay Blasphemy
ThreatDown – Interdimensional Black People, Gay Strokes & Manipulative Sicko Monkeys
Now, Nation, there is a common household item that could kill you. I just wish I knew what it was.
Nation, anybody knows me knows I am no fan of violence. If I had my way, I’d take violence out behind my studio and beat it with a rusty pipe until its face looked like a half eaten velvet cake.
And there’s no greater ally in the fight against violence than the NYPD and their stop and frisk program. Which allows New York police to search anybody they find suspicious. Now, since this is New York, I believe they look for people who are acting strange and then stop everyone else.
They stopped more young black men then there are in New York City. That could mean only one of two things, either they’re targeting young black men so often that the same ones get frisked over and over or the much simpler explanation, threat number three, interdimensional black people.
Clearly, clearly there is a rift in the race time continuum. They are coming over from other dimensions to be black at us! These minorities are traveling here via some kind of, black hole. I’m sorry, excuse me, I’m sorry, African American hole.
Now, folks, I want to make it clear: I have nothing against black people. From this dimension. Those are the good ones.
But black people from other worlds, who knows if they’re friendly? In those other dimensions for all I know my evil twin is a horrible racist and those black interdimensional interlopers might be here for revenge! NYPD, I beg you to stop and frisk all of them!
By the way, do not Google “gay tailspin”. Don’t do it!
That’s right, he suddenly turned gay, in the middle of heterosexually doing summersaults down a hill.
Wisconsin’s Fake Democrats
Dr. Francis Collins
Sign Off – Two Weeks Off & Dry Roasted Peanuts